Weekend Away

I'm spending the weekend at Greg's place in Sorrento. So glad I came - the weather is absolutely PERFECT! Driving up was a delight to see all the green on the hills - it's just beautiful!

I brought mom and dad and Stephen came along. It's good for them to be here - away from the city and in a beautiful quiet setting. I hope I can sleep well tonight because I am tired and didn't sleep hardly last night.

That's me on the deck! Yay!

Surgery date is next week Thursday - 6 more days. I hope it all goes well!

Springtime Pathways

I just love walking in the Springtime. We have our favourite places to walk - this is one of them down at the Fraser River, Matsqui Trail. If you start out at the Sumas Mountain end of the trail there is a long stretch which runs right down along the riverbank OR you can choose to walk on the dike itself. We prefer the woods down at the river. As you can see when it rains, it does get muddy here so having not had rain for several days it was a good option to walk along this path today! And it's so gorgeous and green and lush - I just love it! The grass is still that fresh new green hue with no seed heads yet - almost like someone had spread fertilizer on the lawn, you know?

So what happened to the items on my long to-do list for today? Well, I did manage to clean the venetian blinds on the 3 windows around the kitchen table, then washed the windows, the walls above and below the windows, ironed the white curtains and rehung them. So THAT's done! Good grief - so much work. I only have 9 more windows to do in the dining room and living room area alone, nevermind the big windows in the bedrooms and bathroom. It's the thing that I love the most about this house and yet hate it! I love all the light but the cleaning! Oh my!

Long Weekend

Ahhhh ... a long weekend - first one of the year, except for Easter, of course.

I spent the day at the garden centers - bought a bunch of plants for the front flower bed and the balcony planters. FINALLY I planted something but the weather is still not that warm. It sure did feel good, though, to get my hands around those little plants and put them into fresh, beautiful soil.

I got a call from the surgeon's office today with my surgery date. At first she told me June 18th which I thought was ridiculously far into the future - all of 5 weeks way. Then a couple hours later she called back and said, "can you come on the 4th? We had a cancellation." Of course I said "yes! I can be very flexible." So in 3 weeks I go for my slicing and dicing. Good grief. Can't believe this is happening to me. It seems so surreal.

The hard part is that I feel perfectly fine. You know, when you break a bone or you're bleeding from a cut or you have pain somewhere, or there's a growth or something ... you know that you need to have surgery to get better. That's perfectly normal. But when you don't feel any pain, etc. in the back of your mind you're thinking, "Why would I purposely put myself through that when I feel fine?!" So mentally that's a challenge.

At least now I know a date when I'll have to be off work for a week-plus. A lot to do over the next 3 weeks before I'll be away. I hope I can be productive at work.

But for now I'm going to enjoy the long weekend - it shouldn't rain so it'll be a good opportunity to get more work done in the yard such as digging up those two other hideous flower beds!!!!!

Vegas

Yes - Vegas was awesome! We did so much walking and of course wearing sandals with no real support didn't help so my legs were in so much pain. I noticed interesting stuff about Vegas this trip.

First - there are NO BENCHES along the streets. There is absolutely NO PLACE TO SIT if your feet get tired. No benches, no chairs, no foundations or rocks or anything to sit on. Absolutely nothing. They want you to go into the casinos!

Second - in the casinos themselves, I noticed that when you're standing sorta in the "center" of the casinos, there is tons of space to move between the tables and slots etc. but that as you get to the outer edge (where you can see actual daylight) the tables and banks of slots (mostly slots) are so close together that the crowd has to pass through single-file. You can't even walk side-by-side. The only reason? To keep you IN the casino

Third - and finally, there are also no benches or places to sit inside the casino other than at a table or the slots.

Amazing!

The weather was awesome - it was quiet only the hotel room - the Flamingo. But we had fun anyway! I want to go back sometime with our trailer - do a long road trip - that'll be a LONG one! - and just park somewhere in a nice trailer park and drive in to the city when we feel like it, explore the area, etc. on our own time. That'll be fun.

So this is what one looks like when one has not slept all night and only arrived back home at 5:00 a.m.!!!! I was so tired but happy!

Cancer!

Well, Vegas came and went. Did we actually even go?! Seems like a lifetime ago because so much has happened. Crazy stuff! The evening before we flew out I found out the results of the biopsy on a small mass in my left breast. It's cancer! I couldn't believe it when my doctor told me the results. I thought - what?! No way! It doesn't run in the family at all. This is something we've been watching for the last year and even when I had the biopsy done I still thought, "nah- it'll just be a cyst that needs to be removed but it will be benign."

Fortunately, it is a tiny little sucker only 5 x 4 x 5 mm. Not even one cm in size and it's smooth with no little "feelers" reaching out for more areas to infiltrate. I do so hope that the lymph nodes will be clear. That will be the real indicator. Surgery date? Who knows. The surgeon's office will call me about 1.5-2 weeks ahead of the date. Not really much time to plan ahead.

And that's just it - you just can't plan ahead for anything because you don't know when you'll be in the hospital. And as for treatments, the oncologist will discuss that with me after the pathology comes back 10 days post-surgery. I'll have to take a week off from the day-of of the surgery until the incision in my armpit heals up nicely. THEN 6 weeks post-surgery I'll begin treatments of some kind. Definitely radiation and possibly chemotherapy, again dependent on what the pathology report reveals.

Until then I'm on an emotional roller coaster. I need time to process everything. Reading the material given to me by the physicians really helps. The more I read the better informed I am and I feel confident that this was caught very early and will be completely zapped!!!

DON'T PUT OFF HAVING MAMMOGRAMS!!!!

If I hadn't had any mammograms I would have never gone for the ultrasound which revealed in more detail the size of the tumor etc. I would have never felt it. No one can feel it. But it's definitely there. Amazing.

So that's it for my story for now.

I just really do not want to do the chemo. I don't want to lose my hair! I wonder if I should even bother having my hair done at $130 this Friday?! It would be all for nothing right? But hey, if I do have to do chemotherapy it may be they'll give me the type of drug where one does not lose one's hair!?! With any luck?!

You know, I have to give credit to the Cancer Society and all the various organizations that provide support to cancer patients. The material they have out there is terrific and extremely well thought out. Kudos to all those folks. In fact, going through this experience makes me appreciate volunteers, those people who just provide a listening ear, a ride to treatments and doctor's appointments. Wow! What a blessing!

God is good - I know that I will be okay. And even if I'm not ... it's out of my control. I have to trust that everything will work out fine!